Ngā Kōrero - Latest stories from DCM

• 22 Aug 2022
• Downtown Community Ministry
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line-height:150% !important; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 480px){ .headerContainer .mcnTextContent,.headerContainer .mcnTextContent p{ font-size:16px !important; line-height:150% !important; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 480px){ .bodyContainer .mcnTextContent,.bodyContainer .mcnTextContent p{ font-size:16px !important; line-height:150% !important; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 480px){ .footerContainer .mcnTextContent,.footerContainer .mcnTextContent p{ font-size:14px !important; line-height:150% !important; } } Looking back into the past, and toward the future, Jason remembers kindness – “The biggest thing on my list today.” Building commuities where whānau are housed, connected, valued and thriving About Us Contact Healing through kindness – Jason’s story It’s a cold mid-winter’s Monday morning at DCM, and the building is bustling with activity. Jason has just arrived for work, and there’s plenty to be done. Jason is going to show a new volunteer the ropes. Food awaits pick-up at some local churches, Kaibosh and New World – and when the DCM van returns back to base Jason will have food parcels to pack so taumai can receive emergency food assistance. For Jason, employed as kaiāwhina in DCM’s Foodbank, he knows that there are lots of little ways he can help. For example, “If someone needs an overnight food parcel, chances are they’re rough sleeping. So I’ll go out of my way to make sure they have some disposable containers, tear tabs – I couldn’t think of anything worse than being given some food and not being able to eat it!” Another day in DCM's busy Foodbank. Jason describes it as a selfless job. “It really gets me out of my own way, to help share the vision of DCM. I always walk away at the end of my shift feeling better about myself.” Looking back into the past, and toward the future, Jason remembers kindness. But life was not always kind to Jason, and he is remarkably honest about his journey. Jason was born in the Hawke’s Bay, where family life was pretty tough. “I had an alcoholic stepfather who brought violence into the home,” Jason shares. “My mum was trying to raise me and my two brothers and she kind of got trapped in this relationship and couldn’t escape.” Jason came out when he was quite young, and he was bullied at school. This had a big impact on him, as did working in hospitality from a young age. Jason is reflective about how drugs and alcohol helped him to suppress his emotions. “So you have the cultural aspects, and the family harm aspects, and also depression runs right through my family. I didn’t have good coping mechanisms. So one thing I learned is that when things get tough you just pack up and run. “I learned to pack very lightly, and not put roots down. I couch surfed, spending many years doing that. I learned that all your possessions are the clothes on your back, and what you can carry.” Jason was thrown out of places for not paying rent due to his drug problem, ending up in Australia. But despite the change of scene, and a good job in hospitality, Jason acknowledges, “I thought life would be OK. But I still hadn’t addressed that I had a drug and alcohol problem. Or that I was an addict.” It was back in New Zealand that Jason reached what he describes as his lowest point. “I remember getting to a point where I’d use drugs, walk around the house, and felt like I just ‘existed’. That was a scary feeling. I just felt empty, like I had nothing.” With family help, Jason was finally able to start the process of getting into rehab. That took four months, and in the meantime Jason started going to 12-step meetings, and anything he could find that was recovery-focussed. “I found online blogs of people sharing stories about how they managed to give up drugs, and I was drawn to that kōrero,” Jason says. “I thought, ‘Hang on, there’s a life outside this?’” After a relapse, Jason found himself rough sleeping. He went to Work and Income to ask for help with emergency housing, and they suggested popping down to DCM to get some food, where Dominic was his first point of contact. “I was a mess, but Dom was really kind. He helped me with a food parcel and then we had a bit of a kōrero about how DCM could help. I was willing to take whatever help I could get, and he said that Evan had just started at DCM, and that he would like to engage me with him. I wasn’t too keen on meeting a drug and alcohol counsellor! I just wanted to isolate in my own little bubble, and wallow in my pity. But as I was walking out of the interview room, Dom goes, ‘Oh, this is Evan here!’ So I didn’t have a choice in the matter! And that was kind of a turning point in my life.” Jason with DCM drug and alcohol counsellor Evan. From then, Jason started popping down to DCM regularly. “I would come down most mornings, even if it was only for a coffee and a chat to the staff. Just so that they had ‘eyes’ on me. I started opening my doors for change. I just let DCM in. “I maintained going to regular meetings – every single day, even when I didn’t want to. I joined Te Awatea. I would go along Mondays and Fridays. And have a kōrero in there with the other taumai, sharing my journey, and what was going on for me. It is so good that there is a safe space at DCM for people to speak openly and honestly. “Evan used to call me, saying ‘Hey brother, I’ve put your name down for this. If you’re not interested, you don’t have to do it’. As I started getting better I decided to take up the challenge of doing the things that scared me the most. And one of those things was doing the peer support training with Brodie and Hannah at DCM.” Jason was able to access other services at DCM, such as the emergency dental service. “I was terrified of seeing the dentist!” Jason explains. “I hadn’t looked after myself, but the dentist (Morris Wong) was amazing. He sees people. He talked me through my anxiety. It wasn’t as bad as I expected. I needed a tooth extraction and a filling, probably two things people fear the most. And he helped me through it. I went away thinking, ‘Wow, what a great experience!’” Jason also saw the Te Aro Health nurses at DCM. “Don’t even get me started on them! Rebecca and Bronwyn have been incredible, and super-supportive. I went to Bronwyn with a medical problem and she made it her business to push for the hospital to see me. They helped me, and it’s been great. She went above and beyond, just pushing for them to do something. “All the staff at DCM are amazing,” Jason adds. “All the staff who are there now, and those who have moved on.” Having completed training with PeerZone, another kaiāwhina (Renee) suggested Jason apply for a job working in the DCM Foodbank. “She set up an interview and I was absolutely terrified about going into a job. I hadn’t been in employment for eight years. I didn’t know if I’d be any good or be able to hold the job down. So much unknown, but I used a bit of courage. Then I thought, actually, the job’s not about me. I found purpose in the job and that’s about knowing that the mahi that I’m doing is impacting the lives of others today. “I used to give money to street beggars – until Evan pointed out the dangers. If I’m walking down the street now and hear a taumai calling out to ask for money I say, ‘If you’re hungry, pop down to DCM. WE can help.’” Jason now has a whare with help from Evan and DCM's Aro Mai Housing First team. He is proud to be housed, working, and officially off Work and Income’s books. He’s even ditched cigarettes. But most of all, Jason is proud to be living clean, one day at a time. “What I have learned in that time is to show others compassion and kindness. And that comes from the people who have loved me since walking through the doors at DCM. I wasn’t judged and they were there to help me. So today I try to see people and meet them where they’re at. I’m continuing to show that love and kindness to others.” Jason now has a life he never dreamed he’d have. “Some days I still feel like an alien trapped in my own body. I definitely don’t have it all together – but that’s OK. I’m on the right path. I’ve had many months of re-building my Te Whare Tapa Whā. I’ve learned core values and spiritual principles along the way. I’m a better person today, and I’m OK with who I am. “When I look back to my darkest times, what stands out to me the most are those who showed me kindness. Those who were able to be there for me, to say ‘It’s OK. It won’t be like this forever.’ “So I remember kindness – that’s the biggest thing on my list today.” Photoshoot by Gabrielle McKone. <!-- --> Te Awatea – Doing whatever it takes It's later on Monday morning at DCM – almost 11am. “Last call for coffee!” Clifton announces to the room. Some taumai get their final cup, while others mill around, waiting for Te Awatea to begin. Evan and Jo have set up the space, where taumai are welcome to come and go. They are joined by Clifton and other kaiāwhina, offering peer support for the group. Te Awatea is as accommodating as possible, though Evan and Jo will keep an eye on disruptions, and manage any behaviour that starts to impact other members of the group. Te Awatea is all about harm reduction – and today the nine members of the group start with a round of, “How are you doing today, on a scale of 1-10?” Some taumai rate themselves pretty high, a 7 or 8, while others are feeling a bit down today. A couple of taumai are dealing with medical issues at the moment, which is not making life any easier. Everyone shares how their weekend went. For some taumai, there are challenges. There are members of the group who freely share that they are dependent on drugs or alcohol, and feel stuck. But there’s no judgement from Evan and Jo, or from other taumai in the room. This is a safe space to share whatever you’re feeling, wherever you’re at. One taumai has to leave early to see a nurse. Before he goes he shares how he’s managed to reduce his alcohol intake. He had a great weekend, and is feeling good today. The group cheer him on – “Awesome mahi!” – as he pops out to see the Te Aro Health team. After the intros, Evan leads a kōrero about mental health. By sharing some of his story Evan knows that it will help break the ice, and get the group to open up about their own experiences. Taumai share how they face mental health challenges too, and some acknowledge that they use drugs and alcohol to self-medicate, but that it doesn’t really help. There are a lot of laughs at Te Awatea. Everyone is different – and there are some characters! – but everyone is so open and honest that it’s hard not to share in a joke or two, to lift the spirit in the room. As the session comes to a close Evan leads with the serenity prayer, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” Taumai chat amongst themselves as they head off. Some are looking forward to the next session, which will take place on Friday. In the meantime, Evan and Jo have their own little side room at DCM for one-on-one sessions with taumai who need them. While the group focusses on harm reduction, the offer of other pathways forward is always there if that’s what it takes for taumai to thrive. “Whatever it takes” is part and parcel of DCM’s kaupapa. Te Awatea truly shows that kaupapa in action. It’s not just on Mondays we hear stories like these. Here at DCM we are privileged to journey with taumai towards their housing and wellbeing aspirations, each and every day. You can help support us by forwarding this email on to anyone you think may be interested in learning more about our mahi. We will share our Ngā Kōrero bi-monthly. <!-- --> Support DCM We call the people we work with taumai, meaning to settle. This reflects the journey we set out on together – to become settled, stable and well. Nāku te rourou, nāu te rourou, ka ora ai te iwi. With your basket and my basket, the people will thrive. <!-- --> Copyright © 2022 DCM. All rights reserved. Our mailing address is: DCMPO Box 6133Marion SqWellington, Wellington 6011 New ZealandAdd us to your address book Want to change how you receive these emails? You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.
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